You may be more controlled than you know. You may think your choices are free and not at all influenced by others, but that may not be true. In my counseling and coaching practice, I routinely work with people whose decisions are shaped, sometimes overtly, sometimes subtly, by their desire to prevent someone else from being upset, angry, concerned or hurt. Many are torn between, on one hand, wanting to act on desires that are right and good or to take the action wisdom dictates and, on the other, a terrible fear of someone else’s reaction. They want to be nice. They rack their brains trying to find a way to do what they know they must while continuing to please someone who has no business being so invested in the first place. They can’t see that a people pleasing approach to life hurts them, the other person and the relationship between the two.